It’s [grief] an experience and a process. And I think, helping people to realize that makes it easier to deal with because when people think it’s just a feeling, they think, “Oh it’ll go away one day.” But it’s not once you experienced it, once it’s happened to you. It’s a lifetime experience. – Nefertiti Moor
Johanna Lunn: This is the When You Die podcast. If it has to do with death and dying, we’re talking about it.
Our host today is Kelley Edwards.
Kelley Edwards
On the podcast today, we are joined by Nefertiti More. Nefertiti is a green burial planner, a grief and loss supporter, home funeral guide, and the founder of Dearly Bereaved. Hello, and welcome.
Nefertiti Moor
Hello. Hello. Thank you for having me.
KE
It’s nice to have you here. I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the work that you do, and I guess we’ll just jump right in. Let’s talk about Dearly Bereaved.
NM
Yeah. So, Dearly Bereaved is my death care business that I started, actually, the beginning of January last year, 2022. It’s been a ride. But as you mentioned, you know, I’m a grief supporter. That’s what I actually started with initially. And I thought I was going to be a death doula, and that would be it. But I’m gonna offer death doula services, offer green burial support, grief support, and then, also, home funeral guiding. So, it’s something that I love to do. And it’s been my passion since I was a child.
KE
And there’s a lot of stuff covered in there. Because we talk about options: you work with community, and particularly within the black community. They say they’re underserved within this, in terms of what the options are particularly, I think, let me know if I’m wrong, green burial.
NM
Yes, a lot of black people do not understand, or know yet, that that is an option. They don’t really know that it’s available to them. I think they think it’s something that used to happen, and that it’s not really present. But it is. I’ve been going really hard about advocating for that in the black community. And it’s just been really eye opening to see how many people just weren’t aware. You’re right. It is completely underserved in our community. And home funeral, that’s another thing that a lot of people don’t really know is an option. And it’s actually legal in every single state, every state may have certain guidelines that will, let me say, each funeral home has certain guidelines. We’re saying they don’t want to do it if you’re not getting embalmed, but you can always find a funeral home that can help you. Or you can do at home. Like some states, you have to have, say, a funeral president or funeral director president, because in Michigan, you’d have to have one president, just to kind of oversee the situation. I’ve seen in Detroit, specifically, that there are a lot of funeral homes that are kind of being a little more open-minded to it. So that makes it easier and letting people know, “Well, no, this is an option.” But with home funerals, it’s just very, very ceremonial. And that’s what my focus is, letting people know that. Let’s get back to that. Let’s get back to our ancestral work. And being able to connect in that way is very personal, instead of making it so professional.
KE
And it is very much a return to ancestral, yes, and rituals. And that is kind of where we all started out. It has been taken away; we are trained to think that it now has to be a certain way. And it doesn’t it; has to be whatever you want it to be.
NM
Whatever you want it to be. And I think one thing that I want to mention about that is, I don’t know if people really realize why, say, embalming even got started; it was around the Civil War days. There were a lot of families who preferred to have their their loved ones back home and the best way to do that was to try to preserve the body for as long as possible. And so, once they started doing that, they maybe didn’t necessarily come home, they will go to like a funeral home and then the families or whoever wanted to come will go to that location. And so, they got out of just bringing the bodies home, being able to do it and that when that ceremonial waste …
KE
… but it’s not necessary. And I think that that is always the thing that people are surprised by.
NM
Yeah, they don’t realize that embalming really is just a cosmetic procedure. Like it’s not something that is needed. There are other options. Even I was surprised. I don’t think I really knew that you could have a home funeral until I got into the death doula work last year. I was like, “Oh, I could probably talk about it with my grandfather.” I had wished that I could have had that option for him to have it a little more personal. They did a great job. The Funeral Home handled him, but I wish that I would have been able to know this option. So that’s probably another reason why it’s so ingrained in me to like let people know it.
KE
Let’s talk about your journey into death work, because you mentioned your grandfather, and that certainly your grandfather was a factor in this.
NM
He was and there’s actually two people; like his son, my uncle, passed away when I was about nine. He died by suicide and a lot of people didn’t want to talk about it. And one of the main reasons may have been because I was such a small child, they didn’t really know what to say. But then I also felt like it was because it was death involved, it seemed like such a taboo topic, still kind of just for some people. The funeral home, they handled my uncle, did such a great job it just kind of intrigued me to know. I’m like, “Okay, well, how did they take care of him? And what did they do? How did he get here? Like, where did it go from?” You know, him being at home to how he died? And then this place? So, I’m I was always intrigued by it. I was in school to be a mortician. And then my grandfather passed away. As much as we talked about death. We talked about death all the time. We joked about it. It was our thing, but it was like the grief that I embodied during the loss with him was just so overwhelming for me. I ended up dropping out of college. Took some years before I came across Going with Grace, which is the organization that does end of life planning and death doula training. But that just made me realize there are other options outside of mortician. And I never knew that. I didn’t know it was a thing. The more research that you do about like, say death doulas, like you said, it’s been something that has been so many different cultures have been doing this beginning of time. It was just beautiful to be able to see that there were other options outside of just being a mortician. So that’s how I got here.
KE
And when we talk about culture and your belief, it comes a lot from African culture, death is a homecoming.
NM
It is and it’s like the other side of the spectrum of say, like birth. I’m one of these people that believe that energy doesn’t die. And we are energy. And so, I just feel that once we ascend, or once we leave this earth, some people believe in reincarnation, I just don’t think that is the end. In African culture, especially that is how it’s viewed. And even there are so many different countries in Africa that do ceremonies and parties where their loved one they pass, and it’s not so like doom and gloom. It’s not so just like sorrow. You know, people are sad, they cry, but it’s more so in a celebratory sense.
KE
And they dance out the grief.
NM
Yeah, yeah.
KE
That’s a lot of movement. It’s not just spiritual and emotional. It’s a physicalness as well.
NM
Yeah, absolutely. I think that’s really cool. Because the more research I do about grief and understanding that grief is not just a process for your mind, and your emotions, it’s really like a body thing to like, you can harbor so many different things inside of your body, it can fester if you don’t release it. So, to know that, you know, they dance it out and get all that movement out. And it feels good. It’s like, oh, well, they’re not saying that’s why they’re doing it. But it comes naturally to you if you allow it.
KE
Okay, there’ll be cultures like the Irish have keening, which is vocal expression of letting it out. I’m really fascinated. And this is because of you that you had directed my attention to something called Nine Nights, which I find so fascinating is that wonderful tradition that’s in a lot of Caribbean countries.
NM
It’s in a lot of Caribbean countries. And what’s interesting is that, I think it’s common knowledge that a lot of Caribbean celebrations, not even just this, stem from back home in Africa, because the slave trade, they all were dropped off on these different islands. So, it’s like the research, that I don’t know if you had seen it, too, but the research that I did with some of the Nine Nights celebrations came from, like Ghana, or like different countries, and even some of the foods that they eat, the way that they practice stem from the different countries in Africa. But I’m glad that you got a chance to check that out.
KE
The thing that really stuck in my head was the belief that there are three components. And that’s why it’s Nine Nights so that there’s body there’s…
NM
…three dedicated, three days dedicated to each one.
KE
Yeah. And then there’s the shadow which I had to go down. Yeah. And that’s the spirit, and then even little things like the rearranging of furniture so that the spirits…
KE
…can find the way?
NM
Yeah, well, and you know, unfortunately, so many people like say, the shadow part of it, a lot of people, immediately when they hear shadow, when they hear dark, they think of a negative kind of connotation to it, there are some negative spirits, we have to take into account that everyone has balanced. So, there’s good parts of you quote, unquote, there’s bad parts of you. When people say they’re going on a spiritual journey, where they’re doing things like they only “Oh, well just love and light only.” And it’s like, no, you have to dig deep in yourself and do shadow work or do these different things. And it’s like that with the spiritual realm too, or at least what that’s what we believe in African culture. So….
…KE
everything is that balance, right?
NM
Yes, yeah.
KE
Talk again, about grief and the dangers of holding it in. And you had said, grief is not a feeling. It’s an experience.
NM
It’s an experience and a process. And I think, helping people to realize that makes it easier to deal with because when people think it’s just a feeling, they, “Oh it’ll go away one day,” but it’s not once you experienced it, once it’s happened to you. It’s a lifetime experience, because there’s always going to be times where you may feel sad, or today, you could feel amazing. A week from now you can have a trigger or hear a song or something that reminds you of your loved one and you have a little meltdown. So, it’s quite an experience and a space of process. And that’s something that when I talk to my clients, and even just an everyday conversation when it comes up, because you know, I’m one of those people where death is gonna come before I’m talking. It’s just I can’t I can’t help it. It’s something that I have to tell people and they’re like, “Oh, well, it’s an experience.” It’s not just a feeling, I’m not going to heal through it. I don’t like to use that word either. Because it’s like, no, when people think healing, they think, “Oh, I’m gonna be done one day,” and it’s like, no, just gonna have to learn how to cope pretty much.
KE
And grief isn’t just the loss through death.
NM
Yeah. So much loss and I think that’s something I advocate for because I want people to take into account if you lose a friend that hasn’t died just break up. You know, people don’t even call it Friendship Breakups, breakups with their lovers. But when you have a breakup or you lose a job or you give birth, because to me, that’s something that I came across when I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to myself when I have my son, my old self, I’m not the same person that I was no, nor what I want to be. It was so transformational that I sometimes I sit and I’m like, “Who am I?” I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to the old me sometimes to have come across different clients who, let’s say, within the trans community who are switching over to a different lifestyle, but they didn’t get a chance to really say goodbye to the old them either. And they kind of struggle with that. And it’s understandable. It’s something completely different, a new lifestyle that you’re happy about. You’re transforming. You’re you’re changing. You’re a butterfly now.
KE
Absolutely. And that’s a wonderful way to think about that. And I hadn’t thought about that. In terms of the birthing process. There’s time I’ve thought about that as because we look at everyone’s excited for the new baby, and how we come into postpartum issues.
NM
Absolutely. One of my friends has actually through me, it was actually my birthday. And like, I was maybe like three months pregnant. But she threw me a birthday party. And she said to me, she said, this is for you. Because this is the last birthday party that you’re going to have as you. Every other one is going to be like, “Oh, yes, but the baby’s here.” And she’s like, it’s beautiful. But just really think about that. And I hadn’t even thought about that. And I just was like, wow, this is, this is way deeper than I even thought it could be. So, it is like a mommy grief kind of thing. And it is a thing. And like you said the postpartum can come in because people don’t really take into account that the mother too, is experiencing so many different changes. If she has to go to work outside the home for, I’ve got to leave my baby. And it’s so common that people don’t think of it like that, or they don’t care, too.
KE
Yeah, yeah. Do you get into that with your clients that that whole idea of loss not just being done.
NM
I specialize in grief with death. But yeah, I’ve had a few clients. One, she lost her job, it took such a toll on her that she really couldn’t really function. And she really just needed assistance with being able to understand that, because she had been in a job, I think, maybe for like 15 years and just having to come to terms with this new plateau, and we have to let it go. I am very empathetic. I prefer to only work with people who are actually ready to take that step to understand that we have to move on. Sometimes some people just want a phone call to just talk or be able to release. Sometimes people aren’t really ready to do that next step. Yeah. And I completely understand that. I have services for that too, where it’s like we can just talk. I mean, we can just cry together, we can just release sometimes people need that, and don’t really want to do with people that they already know, they wanted to with someone that they feel like has been really supportive for some time and enjoy being able to have that space or hold that space for people.
KE
And when we talk about holding space within the black community, how is grief allowed?
NM
To be 100% honest, I would say for the most part, it’s not. Our people have been through so much that we’re just like, “No, you need to get over that and just go,” so a lot of my clients have suppressed things like they may not have just experienced grief. It may be grief that their grandpa or someone passed away two years ago or three years ago. And they’re just like, you know, what, it still feels like it was yesterday. For me, I never want to rush people through grief. But for me, I feel like, if it really feels like you can’t function, then that is an issue. I have different resources for people therapy, or someone to talk to, because our community does make you feel like you can’t talk about it. They make you feel like six months tops, you got to go to work, you got to do all these things. You have to go, go, go. And I mean, that’s part of capitalism feelings, too. It does feel like in our community, we’re not allowed to really talk about it too much. And we’re supposed to get over it, unfortunately. And there’s a lot that stems from the intergenerational trauma back to even being enslaved and things of that. Like I really do feel like it goes that deep.
KE
Yeah, I think you’re right. And I think that when we talk about that whole returning to ancestral things, yeah, the way that we now are looking at taking care of our dead or dying, but also you can’t grieve and move forward if you haven’t, if you’ve got generations and generations that you’ve witnessed. Yeah. Now, in your generation, it’s not that you experience enslavement, the way that ancestors did, but that’s never been dealt with for you.
NM
Right. Right. It’s like, it’s not we haven’t experienced it physically, but it’s like encoded in our DNA. It literally is. And I have different resources for this too, because I have a friend. She’s like a psychic medium is what she calls herself. But she specializes in tapping into that type of trauma and helping people to kind of figure it out of where it’s coming from, how back how far back it’s coming from. And just acknowledging that a lot of my people aren’t acknowledging it. And that’s where I feel like the main issue comes from like, we just think that it happened to them and said, but this is what I, this is my life and this is what was happening to me, so they don’t really think about it, that we’re really being affected DNA-wise.
KE
We see it a lot in indigenous communities as well. And there is this trauma. It’s always there. But I wonder how does it translate into depth work. Because if you’re not talking about a grief that is ancestral, are you able to put it into practice? Rituals? That truly, that are from that ancestral place?
NM
Right, right. That is really good way to put it. Like I said, it has to start with acknowledging that, but really, really finding a ritual that works for them. But it’s, it needs to happen. And it needs to happen collectively. But yeah, that’s that’s a good question.
KE
Everybody wants to have, “What does a good death mean to you? What is that?” It’s not something that’s afforded to everybody, maybe from a place of privilege to say that, “Oh, this is the death I want to have.” But if you have, there’s violence and death within a black community.
NM
Yeah, unfortunately. And I think that you’re right, because someone recently asked me, “What did I think a good death was?” And for me, it’s simply someone being able to speak with their loved ones and being offered and honored in the way that they want. In the black community a lot of people don’t get that because there may be, and I hate this term, but I’m just gonna say it just for these purposes, when people say, black on black crime, which we know doesn’t exist, because people kill within their proximity. So, if you live in a predominantly black neighborhood, and you’re black, you’ll be killed by black people. And if you’re a Mexican, and you live in predominantly Mexican neighborhood, it’s gonna happen, but no one says Mexican, I’m Mexican crime. So, it’s just a thing. If you’re in the communities, with your people, and there’s lots of violence or things of that nature, then you’re not going to be able to be honored in the way that you want, if that’s how you’re going to go. It’s such a systemic thing, because a lot of people talk about, oh, well, it’s so bad in these neighborhoods. But why? You know, I’m saying where are we talking about why that is? And they feel like, oh, well, there’s some black people that are doing well, why aren’t they doing well in these different neighborhoods, and it’s like, the money isn’t being circulated correctly. So, like, let’s say, for instance, I’m from Detroit, if I’m not mistaken, still, the blackest city in America, some of the neighborhoods definitely are not doing so well. It’s like there are not as many black owned businesses, for instance, that should be. So, if the money is circulating amongst black people, and the people that are working in this community don’t live there, they’re not going to give back to the community, they’re gonna go home where they, you know, the suburbs, wherever. So, it’s like the money isn’t circulating correctly. And if people don’t have money, they’re going to do what they have to do, unfortunately, to get the money. So unfortunately, they may rob, or they may kill, or they do all these different things. The good deaths that people want, or may desire to have, aren’t happening, because there’s so much going on in these communities that systemically are messing it up. But again, that’s another reason why I think it’s so important for people to know, for instance, like initially, when I was thinking I was just going to be a death doula I want it to be like on call in the city, like it would be like if something happens tragically, to a loved one, 24 hours a day, just call me whenever it happens. And I’ll be there to be able to assist. And it happened a couple of times where I had to physically be there like on the street as someone’s bleeding out, because it takes forever to for the ambulance to get there to be that space. You know what I mean? Because it’s so needed. And sometimes like, unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of death. I’ve had a lot of friends die in that exact way. I don’t, I don’t want to say I’m numb to it. But it’s like, I’m so used to seeing this, that it’s not shocking for me to have to be there. Or it’s not scary for me, in a sense. So, it’s like being able to be there in that space. I love to be able to offer that space because no one was really doing it. And I would love if some death, doulas, especially in in these urban communities, black communities were able to do that more so often because it happens so much. It’s just, it’s just happening so tragically so quickly.
KE
And the fact that you become familiar with it doesn’t mean you lack empathy, right? And how important is empathy in your work?
NM
Oh, my gosh, it’s so, so, so, so, so important. I’ve come across a couple say like funeral directors that I felt like are just so used to taking in bodies and they’re just kind of cold. Even sell you caskets and it’s just like wait a minute. Like I just lost them when like I need you to really show you care. And I feel like especially when it comes to death. Families, loved ones of the deceased are just so vulnerable. And I think it’s important to be able to connect with them. You don’t have to hug them. But it’s like you can ask if they want that space, but just being able to show them that you’re human. And you can connect with them really means a lot in these times because people are really sad. Death is final. So, some people, even though we may feel like it’s not, but for some people it is, and it’s like being able to offer that space or offer energy and just love in those moments is really, really important, and it shows for them.
KE
You mentioned before about money and funds circulating and within the community but that also comes into play in the death world in the planning because if you’re being underserved with options, you don’t realize that there are less expensive ways, because people worry about that at the end of life. How am I going to bury this person, how am I going to have this celebration of life? That’s the thing that you also look at.
NM
Yes, it is. And that’s absolutely correct, because like I will be talking about with like sudden or tragic deaths. A lot of people unfortunately may not have insurance policies, or they have to put up GoFundMe for their loved ones because they don’t have the money for it. But being able to let people know, say, especially with green burials, that there’s options, you can either find a green burial located near you, which is another resource that offers, because there’s so many different locations that people aren’t aware of that are close to their cities. But even if let’s say you want to plot next to your family, and that’s not necessarily a green cemetery, try to be as green as possible and ask if you could just be buried in a shroud or if you don’t have to have one of the the markers, the stone markers, because all this stuff is not only expensive, but really bad for the environment, so much concrete, and so much embalming fluids and other things that’s not really good for the environment, not good for the funeral director who’s actually embalming either. So just being able to know that there’s cheaper options, greener options. Let’s say if someone is looking to have a I don’t know if you have you ever heard that there’s a green embalming? No, there is there’s a green embalming option that was about the same price as regular embalming. It doesn’t have any toxic embalming or any further body. So, it’s like you can have that and just be buried into a grave. Even cremation is not as good for the environment, as one may think. But it is a cheaper option. And you can ask questions, you can check with a crematory and make sure that they’re, they have a lower carbon footprint. That’d be cheaper. And it’ll also be better for the environment. There’s acclamation, which is a little expensive, but it’s better for the environment, you can be put into a burial reef, which is not as expensive actually, as most people would think, buried at sea. That’s another option. There are so many different cheaper options, especially for the black community, that I’m like, “Hey, let’s try this thing.” You know what I mean? Because it can be debilitating. People put their life savings toward funerals, and then don’t have anything left over.
KE
What’s yours? What’s your choice, when it’s your time,
NM
There’s this new thing called re-composting. And I think it’s really cool. I believe that it’s legal in Washington, but they just got legalized in California. But it’s basically putting all these nice little herbs and things on you, putting you into this little vault, it only takes 30 days, and then you’re turned into dirt. Your loved ones can do what they like with it, they can put you into a garden or your dirt can be put into a soil into the forest. That is really cool. But the thing that I want people to know, too, is that even if you just have a simple green burial, that’s exactly what’s going to happen to you; it’s just going to take longer, it is not going to happen in 30 days. Yeah, I would prefer either that or just being buried in a nice little shroud. I need to edit my end-of-life plans. Because now that I’m living in Philly, initially, I was going to be buried in Detroit. And now I’m like, “Oh, I’m in a whole new city, I need to edit plans.”
KE
And that’s something I think that people need to realize, too. It’s like people who talk about doing your wills and your end-of-life plans and stuff. It’s like, every so often, you should go in anyway,
NM
You should because you could have definitely changed. And I’m, just like me, like, I’m like, I need that. And then my partner, he’s, I started telling him how bad the traditional funeral can be for your body. And for the Earth. He’s like, “Okay, wait, we need to edit my plans.” So, he’s got to do his plans, too, now.
KE
So important.
NM
Yes.
KE
Do you deal with clients who have no idea what their loved one would want? Because that was not a discussion?
NM
Yes, I’ve had a couple. I give them options, you know, of course, letting them know, because something most people like that that I’ve come across, and I could probably change, but they usually, they’re really, really adamant about helping the environment so that I can instantly just be like, “Oh, well, okay, let’s talk about the greener options.” But what I find with the people who will just have no idea, I just take into account again, that empathy, because they’re so much grief overcome with them that they’re just like, I don’t know, and I kind of don’t care, but you know, just like help. So, it’s just really about just talking to them. And I’m like, “You, well, you know your partner better than I do. So, let’s just talk about the things they liked. What was some of the things that they really would have liked to incorporate? So, I try to bring that ritual aspect into things for them. And then we do. We always find an avenue after we talk about some of the things that they may have liked, or, you know, because I feel like when I really just talk to them, and ask them questions about their loved ones, something may come up that I’m like, “Oh, well, maybe they would have liked this.” And I’m like, “Oh, so, but yeah, it’s definitely happened.”
KE
Yeah, I think we all have been at funerals where it really had nothing to do with the person at all. No, it’s a one size fits all kind of food. Yeah, yeah. It’s a hard thing. I mean, I’ve certainly been to them with people that I’ve been close to and feel like, this is not, this is not the person. There’s also times I’ve been at still funerals or celebrations where you think, Man, I wish this they hadn’t died. They’d love this.
NM
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Me too.
KE
You’ve written a book, you have an eBook?
NM
Yes, it’s Respect My Ascension. It’s a advanced care directive form actually. First like four pages, I just break down for people what the advanced care directive does what it is. And for those who aren’t familiar with it, it is basically just helping you know what you would want in the case of your demise. So that, let’s say, the hospitals won’t be making decisions on your behalf, the government won’t be making decisions on your behalf, your loved ones who were angry or sad won’t be making decisions on your behalf. Because you have this document, you have the people or persons that you want to make decisions for you. And I always tell people, like, make sure it’s someone who really will follow through and won’t just be like, “No, this is what I want.” Like, they’ll really just care about what you want. I mean, even it has a little spiritual aspect in there for people who say like, if you think they want the Bible read, or if they want different religious books, or texts or songs or you know, anything like that, but it’s all documented on the paper. It goes for each state, because there are certain states that it may need to be notarized with, but it has that on there, too. Which states have the part for the notarization. It was only certain states need certain witnesses available. So, it has that on there, too. So, it was really intense for me to make. But I was really excited too, because I’m like, this is something else. A lot of people just don’t know that they need. That’s it.
KE
There’s so many things that we do.
NM
Yeah. And I always recommend like, make sure your doctor has one on file. And my grandpa never wanted to be resuscitated. He had Do Not Resuscitate. We didn’t have an advanced care directive for him. So, it was like he actually technically died December 14, 2014. But they brought him back. Then he died the next day, but it was like, oh, and when I heard them in there, I was like, “Oh, God, just not something that he wanted.” But I don’t think they would have listened to him. Like he wouldn’t want that. It’s like, they don’t have it on file. They don’t know.
KE
The doctors have been trained. It’s about life. Right?
NM
Exactly. And then something else. And I want to say that it’s good for, it’s like, let’s say if there’s a situation where you don’t die. Let’s say if you were on the way or something. But there may have been I can’t think of a scenario. But like, let’s say if there’s something that you have in your advanced care directive, where you say, you don’t want this because it’s too much money, and you wouldn’t want it to be a burden on your family. But then let’s say you live, right. And then you have all these bills. Or now your family has all these bills. And it’s like this isn’t morally something that you would have wanted, it would have been in your form, you would have had it written down or things of that nature. So, it’s good for it can be good for living, but it is focused on the death.
KE
I think we could talk for hours. So much. I find it fascinating when I mean, because you’re a young woman. When I see young people going into death work, it’s kind of exciting to know that, ah, we’re in good hands here. And that young people are finding their way back to ancestral ways and to the earth. And I love that you had talked about our last offering to the earth.
NM
Yes, yes. Yes, offerings to Earth to help and to be respectful as much as we possibly can. Because the way that people treat the earth, it’s just frustrating. When I thought of that tagline as something that I had in mind. Because again, it’s like, green burial is always what I’m focused on helping people with are getting to, but again, understand that not everyone may want that or might not everyone may have that option available. Because like I said, not every funeral home offers it and, or every funeral home or cemetery. So, it’s like, let’s just be as green as possible. Let’s think about Mother Earth. Let’s think about for the future. Everyone’s going to die. And we, not everyone may be buried, but we’re all going to end up somewhere, somewhere somehow. So, let’s make our last offering as respectful as possible. It’s the African term called Sankofa and it’s just getting back to what you knew before. If you have time. Look that up. It’s really beautiful.
KE
Well, thank you so much. This has been so great. I know we could just stay here and chat forever. We could. I want to say thank you so much.
NM
Thank you…
KE
…for sending me on the path of looking at these things because I find it so fascinating.
NM
It was great. It flowed so naturally.
KE
One last thing how do people find you?
NM
Yes, you can find me on Instagram. My handle is dearly.bereaved. That’s dearlydotbereaved. On my website is actually going to launch on March 13, which will be dearlybereaved.net. So, you can find me there and I would love to connect with anyone who’s just even if you just want to talk about death, just hit my line. I’m open to talk about it.
KE
Thank you so much. I wish you all the best and know that there’s some lovely things you’re offering to the world.
NM
Thank you. I appreciate you, Kelly. Have a good one.
This conversation is brought to you by the When You Die Project. From existential afterlife questions to palliative care and the nuts and bolts of green burial, if it has to do with death and dying, we’re talking about it.
