Stories We Love

We don’t endorse every point of view in these stories but respect them and offer them up in the spirit of reclaiming death as a rich, challenging, rewarding, exhausting, heartbreaking, heart-filling, integral part of our human journey.

Stories

Holiday Grief

When the loss of a loved one is fresh, and our grief is great, we need to know it’s okay. Grief is the cousin of love. And so, one perfectly valid coping mechanism for the holiday season is to say, “Not this year. I need to be with my heart.”

Tips for Holiday Sadness

Everyone has been touched by loss in one way or another. And, of course, the holidays tend to bring out our sadness. Remembering loved ones who have passed, or just not feeling the holiday spirit—these two articles might help!

Dumb Supper

The Dumb Supper: Dining with the Dead

In 1692, in Salem, Massachusetts, nineteen people were executed for practicing the “devil’s work,” or, in other words, being witches. Fourteen were women, five were men. In 2019, at the end of October, also in Salem, Massachusetts, modern day witches celebrate the Festival of the Dead.

Día de los Muertos

The Day of the Dead, or Día de los Muertos, is sometimes confused with Halloween. Although both are around the same time of year and do have similarities, they are

Good Ground Great Beyond

Good Ground Great Beyond

Angela Lutzenberger, founder of the Maine non-profit, Good Ground Great Beyond, speaks about her vision for creating alternative, after death care options, including open air cremation, for the people of Maine.

Dead Like Me

Dying to Watch: Binge-worthy Series

Over the years many TV shows have dealt with death. From a family of funeral directors to a man in deep anger in his grief, these series have actually created a conversation about death and dying, sometimes comedic, sometimes touching and sometimes painfully realistic. When You Die team member, Kelley Edwards, picks and shares her favourite binge-worthy series. (Caution, there may be some spoilers ahead.)

Reflections on Dying

When it comes to death and dying, we have many questions. The BBC has a selection of videos called Reflections on Dying that address topics such as what it’s like

Death of a Loved One: The Year of Firsts

This winter, my very close friend lost her mom. She and her siblings were very close to their mother and so the loss of her mother was significant. I knew the feeling of losing a parent. Going through the death of a parent is a difficult process, but I also knew that it wasn’t over.

Life in Death

Janie Brown is the Executive Director of the Callanish Society, a nonprofit organization she co-founded for people who are “irrevocably changed by cancer, and who want to heal, whether it

Public Loss, Private Grief

Prince Harry was only 12 when his mother Diana was killed in a car crash. Young Harry struggled to come to terms with his loss, which was a very public

In the Footsteps of Grief

Jennifer was 41 when she was killed by a motorcycle while crossing the street. She left behind a loving husband and two young boys. Her husband, Tim, in his grief,

Death and Food

From sin eaters to sharing food that is symbolic of the circle of life, eating together after a loss is a communal grief practice throughout time and culture.

Día de Los Muertos As Told By Instagram

They say this time of year is when the veil between the two worlds is thinnest. Mexico’s Día de Los Muertos celebrates this special time by honoring ancestors and lost loved

Twilight: A Fantasy Photo Diary of Death

  Photographer Urszula Kluz-Knopek transformed the paralyzing fear of her parent’s death into a transcendent photography exhibit starring them. Here’s what Urszula had to say about ‘Twilight’. WYD: Where did the

Death Doula Jill Schock on ‘The Perfect Death’

Each body has its own way of shutting down due to illness or injury. In a natural death, your breathing will simply slow until it stops. That is out of our control. Eventually all of our bodies will wear down to nothing more than ashes and dust. But American culture struggles with accepting mortality. We don’t like to age; we don’t like ugly. Unfortunately, neither idealizing nor ignoring death will make it go away.

Of Death, Humor & Chickens

Somewhere along the line, I developed this theory that all jokes are simply little brushes with death. Man walks down the street whistling, slips on a banana peel and falls. He’s strolling along, ‘I wonder where you get a good sandwich around here’ and smack! He finds himself face to face with his mortality; bruising tailbone, and ego, alike.

What Happens After Death? What Netflix ‘Afterlife Sci-Fi Dramas’ Got Right

Fans of the Netflix sci-fi thrillers The OA and The Discovery, both of which weave tales of scientists researching the afterlife, may be shocked to know it’s not just the stuff of fiction. While the haunting plotlines are (thankfully) fantasy, their themes echo real clinical research into what happens to consciousness at the moment of death.

At the Bedside: What’s It Like?

In the Victorian era, birth and death happened at home, so people knew more or less what to expect. But that’s not true for us! And because we don’t talk much about death and dying we are left with whispered stories, scenes from movies, and random bits that cross social media.

Have You Met BJ Miller?

  We don’t want to diminish how much palliative care physician BJ Miller’s TED Talk, “Not Whether But How,” will move you and get you thinking, but we can’t resist

Living on a Timeline

We all wonder what we’ll do, how we’ll react, if (or when) we receive news of our own or a loved one’s terminal diagnosis—and how we’ll go on living when we have that information.

Plan for Death As Though It’s a Birth

Sheila Kitzinger was a “champion of women’s rights in childbirth.” She spent her career pioneering birth plans that secured choice and autonomous control for women giving birth.

Love with the End in Sight

There’s nothing comfortable about considering that the people we love most in the world are eventually going to die. The alternative, though—ignoring that it will, indeed, happen one day—can leave us in a much less workable spot.

How to Say Good-Bye

What does it mean to offer words of candour, reassurance and love when we’re communicating with those who are facing the end of their lives?

Before I Die, I Want to ___________

When Joan, a close friend to New Orleans designer Candy Chang died, the artist and urban planner was moved to invent and create the “Before I Die” wall on the side of an abandoned house in her neighborhood, using chalkboards and chalk.

Examining Life, Looking Straight at Death

WNYC Radio’s program Radiolab recently presented an episode all about mortality—it’s thought-provoking and embedded with fascinating questions, starting with “Do we have to die?” and ending with “How do we deal with dying?”

Lessons from Hospice

What Comes Next and How to Like It is a memoir by Abigail Thomas that’s not particularly about death or dying. But it is, without a doubt, about the inscrutable and unpredictable things that life delivers up to us, including plenty of change and not an insignificant amount of loss—something Thomas knows a thing or two about.

Nighttime view of Downtown Halifax skyline

How Learning About Death Changed My Life

Tracy Picha, When You Die’s associate producer in 2015 and ’16, has had a few changes in her life since learning, considering, wondering about mortality. Far from a macabre pursuit, it’s rekindled friendships and fine-tuned notions of what a good life means.

A Record in Photographs

“We are scared of death and I think that is in large part because we hide it away, out of sight and avoid it until we have to,” says Nancy

In the Aftermath of Tragedy

Death frequently comes without warning. But when tragedy strikes, there is a certain suddenness and violence that can have overwhelming effects on us, our families, and our society.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Death

Do We Need “Closure”?

In Nancy Berns’s presentation, “Beyond Closure: The Space Between Joy and Grief,” she asks the question, “When bad things happen, do we need closure?” Berns says no.

A Matter of Death and Life

The Harley School in Rochester, N.Y., wanted students to excel in their academics — but also in life. That’s why the private school offered a class called “hospice.”

Inviting Death Back into Polite Society

In the average North American home, what we now call the living room was once referred to as the “parlour”—a place where, before the 1930s, it was not uncommon to place the dead body of a family member for viewing and mourning.

A Child Shows Us How to Mourn

Kate Braestrup shares the story of Nina, a five-year-old who insisted to her parents that she needed to visit her dead cousin and best friend Andy, a four-year-old, at a nearby funeral parlor.

End of Life Doula

“There is nothing on Earth – nothing inevitable, anyway – that we are prepared for less than death, and I just don’t understand why that is. Where is our guidance for this? This thing that every single one us will have to face?”

New Burial Grounds

Considering what happens to our bodies and the bodies of our loved ones after death is a new thing for many of us.

Casket or Crematorium?

Los Angeles-based mortician, Caitlin Doughty, self-described death-acceptance advocate, and creator of The Order of the Good Death walks us through the two main options available for dealing with dead bodies in North America.

8 Ways to Be There

Teacher, writer and coach, Heather Plett found herself in the role of student when her mom was dying and her family brought her home to do so.

Tell Him It’s OK to Go

When we’re facing the most challenging moments that life has to offer, when we’re feeling most broken, it’s amazing what shows up.

20-Somethings Think About Death, Too

Given her willingness to talk about any topic, it’s perhaps no surprise that writer and TV star Lena Dunham experiences more flashes of what she calls “mortality awareness” than the average 20-something. But thoughts of death are not reserved for the aged.