For me Unearthing Tradition is a verb. It’s an action word. It is a personal calling to really dig deep and create spaces for healing and understanding of who I am and how I come to this work; how I show up in the world, and really navigating, reclaiming ancestral traditions, so that my life cycle can be as fulfilling as it can be. And in centering that, I hope to create those types of spaces for the clients and families that I have the opportunity to work with. Unearthing Tradition exists as a platform to create healing spaces, specifically for black folks. and LGBTQIA+ folks, the piece that is missing there for me was to exhale. I think that in the world that we live in today, just to prioritize spaces, where folks can really just release is really, really, really sacred, and liberating and just necessary. – Briana Simmons
Johanna Lunn:
This is the When You Die podcast. If it has to do with death and dying, we’re talking about it.
Our host today is Kelley Edwards.
Kelley Edwards
Joining us on the podcast today is Briana Simmons. Briana is a lifecycle facilitator for black and lgbtqia+ communities. She is also the founder of Unearthing Tradition, and that is to reclaim dignified life cycles, and offering lifecycle support that creates unapologetic healing spaces for black folks. Hello, Briana.
Briana Simmons
Hello, Kelley, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate the invitation to be a part of this conversation.
KE
It’s a fascinating conversation. And I’ll jump right into the Unearthing Tradition. I hope that I covered everything that you offer in your service. And when we talk about life cycles, it’s not just death, It’s life and death and birth and healing.
BS
Absolutely. For me Unearthing Tradition is a verb. It’s an action word. It is a personal calling to really dig deep and create spaces for healing and understanding of who I am and how I come to this work; how I show up in the world, and really navigating, reclaiming ancestral traditions, so that my life cycle can be as fulfilling as it can be. And in centering that, I hope to create those types of spaces for the clients and families that I have the opportunity to work with. Unearthing Tradition exists as a platform to create healing spaces, specifically for black folks. and LGBTQIA+ folks, the piece that is missing there for me was to exhale. I think that in the world that we live in today, just to prioritize spaces, where folks can really just release is really, really, really sacred, and liberating and just necessary.
KE
So, you came to this because there is a need within those communities. How did that discovery come to you?
BS
So, a lot of my personal experiences shaped my understanding for the need for something like Unearthing Tradition, as well as just raised awareness of what is and has happened to communities that I represent. And so, I want to be clear that the work that I am doing through Unearthing Tradition is joining a movement of work that has existed far beyond the 31 years that I’ve been on this planet. It’s just a continuation of work that has been happening for so long. And my personal experiences that kind of pushed my path forward, include a lot of loss. And in those losses, opportunities for how we can better show up to care for people is what was revealed to me. And so, one of the most significant losses that I experienced was the death of my mom in 2011. In 2008, she was diagnosed with cancer. And this was right after my grandpa was diagnosed and passed away from cancer, as well. And so, it was just a really difficult time for my family. And her diagnosis led us down a path that eventually ended in hospice care. I always have to mention a hospice nurse named Jackie, who completely changed the path of my family. She just did more than I think what her job title required of her to do. She really saw our family and connected with us on a human level; we had such a strong relationship with her. So much so, that I think she really created an opportunity for things to happen, that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. She helped my mom to come to terms with the end of her life. And she really just kind of set the seeds for my mom to leave different pockets of information and memories. And she just completely changed all that we experienced in those final three years of my mom’s passing. What was happening around that time was also things happening within the black community. So, my mom passed away in 2011. A year later, in 2012, Trayvon Martin was murdered in Florida. And you know, we’ve seen examples of violence like that before, and I think it was his passing that really sparked something, particularly with youth. At the time I was in college. And just a couple of years after his death Michael Brown was murdered in Ferguson, Missouri. And in the years after that, we saw a lot of black death. And it was problematic; it was troubling; it was heartbreaking. And those things, along with the losses that I experienced, really helped to shape for me how important it is for us to be having the hard conversations about how not only do we prevent violence from happening, but how we can reclaim the practices that we have around our deaths; how we can create more opportunities for dignified transitions with our loved ones. And so, all of that is really kind of what started to shape Unearthing Tradition. And even then, the work that I initially entered in doing Unearthing Tradition, like doula work, was in birth. And because I think what I was attempting to do is reclaim those joyous aspects of life.
KE
And that’s a lot. That’s a lot of stuff to get you to that.
BS
It is.
KE
I find it so fascinating when we talk about these reclaiming practices within birth and death and everything in between, just in holistically healing. And when you talk about ancestral practices, this is African tradition.
BS
Yes, absolutely. I think for me, the importance of reclaiming traditions is that the reality of people of African descent in the United States is that our traditions have been shunned, shamed, but then appropriated. And so, it can be quite a confusing experience. And part of coming into your identity is realizing just that and taking it upon yourself and within community to affirm the sacredness and beauty, and just inherent love that is within our lineage, our history, and how those traditions have been utilized to resist and to exude like resilience. And so, for me, when we are able to come together, and gather as community, and even on our own, just practice, different ritual ceremony. It is such a liberating thing.
KE
When we talk about the death positive movement, and we talk about a good death and how we want to aspire to a good death ….
BS
I think that a good death can be defined as an individualized, a unique experience for every person, right? Something that I would want as a part of my dying experience is completely different than perhaps something that you would want. And within the context of who I am, the identities that I hold, you’re right, a good death is not an equalizer. I think we have to take into account the differences that we have and hold them with care and hold them in a responsible way that allows for people to be able to define for themselves what a good death looks like. I think a part of that is being able to naturally experience transitions that are free of violence, of course, but also ones that we’re aware of the options that we have, in how we cycle through life, whether that’s birthing options or options at the end of life, I’m having access to the things that we need in order to make those types of decisions, and to do them in a way that is empowering and doesn’t take away from the experience that we’re having, as well as those around us who love us.
KE
And we talk about joy within, say, the birthing cycle, but also beauty in the death cycle.
BS
Birth and death are transitions that require a lot of you emotionally, physically, spiritually. And to be able to infuse joy into those experiences and really hold a container where joy can happen is a priority of mine when I’m working with clients and one that I would hope to have for myself. I think joy is so important because it really allows you to be able to deal with all the other emotions, right? We can’t get through our life transitions and difficult things without having any pillars of hope and bliss and just be human, be fully human in all that we experience. And so, for me, I think about when my mom passed in her final days: it was interesting, because I knew that she knew that she was dying. We knew that she was dying. And at one point, she had a conversation with me, where she kind of sat down and expressed the things that she knew she wouldn’t have a chance to say, in how many of her days or weeks or months. And I hold on to moments like that, and different times, when she was maybe having a good day, and we danced together. Or we sing our favorite song as loud as we could like. Those memories are what I hold on to now in her physical absence. And I think having someone who cares for you, someone who sees you and all that you are, to help push you to acknowledge those joyous moments and create more space for them, is really, really important.
KE
Because you come at this from two sides in the sense that you’re part of the black community, you’re part of the queer community, and what are the similarities that come together? And with those groups, within end of life? There are difficulties with both groups, right?
BS
Yeah, I mean, I would say that the experiences of black folks and queer folks in this country have been shaped by the difficult experiences that we’re talking about right now, the transitions that have been perpetuated by violence have been shaped by racism, oppression, white supremacy culture, and we see that happening in real time, where legislation is being proposed and passed in some places that are limiting folks’ access to information and so on. And so, I would say that the similarities are absolutely there. And when they come together, for a person who holds multiple identities, we know that that experience can be even more challenging. And I think that those are the places where we have the most opportunity when we are centering people who have marginalized identities, when we are centering those folks and making sure that their voices are at the center of the conversation, that their leadership is uplifted, that they are the ones who are being listened to and positioned to make change and support it by those who have resources. Otherwise, I think that even though the challenges are there, so much opportunity is there to do things differently than they’ve been done.
KE
Are people aware of that, that there are other options, anything from green burial to hospice, even? Are people starting to come to that more? And maybe I’m wrong, but it just seemed to me like that wasn’t something that was made aware to various communities.
BS
So, I think here, we have to look at history. So, for example, in the birth community, we know that historically, black midwives were charged with caring for their communities, and helping to support pregnant people bring new people into the world, helping to manage other health issues. And they were also a part of helping to transition people on the other side of that spectrum. When midwives were systematically marginalized, and birth was transitioned into the hospital, we then started to see the outcomes and circumstances that have now positioned black communities into a maternal health care crisis. And I think the same thing is reflected at the end of life, where, when we were in charge of our communities, we were able to hold transitions at both ends of the spectrum sacred. Now, I think the idea of reclaiming ancestral traditions is happening alongside folks being eager to gain more information, to have more of an understanding, to be more in charge and reclaim their own autonomy in making decisions for themselves at the beginning of life as well as at the end of life. And so, I think there’s definitely a learning curve that is happening. I think it’s slowly but surely starting to make more waves in our communities. I know, for example, in COVID, we saw an uptick of folks who were interested and seeking out of home or out of hospital care. We see that also being reflected at the end of life, where folks are inquiring more about end of life, doulas, and doing more proactive research into end-of-life planning. And so, I think that we are beginning to take a turn.
KE
Everybody, as we know, everybody grieves differently. Communities grieve differently as well. And how do we get that back? How do you, how do you reclaim that?
BS
I would say that, in the black community, we’ve always had different rituals and practices that showcase grief and express mourning. Now whether or not those practices have been seen as valid by other communities, dominant cultures, is to be in question. But we’ve always had practices where we’ve come together to express how we’re feeling, whether that shows up as anger or rage, whether it shows up as deep despair, depends on the person, the community, the situation. But I think that now, especially given where we are in history, and the things that are happening right in front of our faces, it may not, we can’t be denied generation before us and after us. And those who are doing work now are wanting to reclaim more space for just all the human emotions that we go through and how they affect us in particular.
KE
How does it feel for you in your connecting to ancestors? Is this something that you’re conscious of it all the time? Is it something that’s just that invisible thread to the past? Do you feel that, do you feel specifically tied to your ancestors?
BS
I do. And I think that part of it is intentional, like an intentional seeking, of identity of just wanting to honor and do my own due diligence to all the people who have come before me that have gotten me to where I am. And I think the other part of it is just kind of innate. It’s just kind of there. It’s just something that makes sense but doesn’t have to really be thought about too much. It’s quite simple. Whether it’s honoring someone by saying their name, or giving an offering, asking a question. I think sometimes people think that ancestral veneration, and just honoring the ancestors, is this, like very whimsical, out of reach thing. And it can be quite simple.
KE
Again, we’re talking about reclaiming. And so, within the death practice, or end of life care, we look at old ways. I see that more and more in so many different communities, and how people are going back to green burial, going back to shrouds, going back to a more simple and caring handling your own dead bodies, the washing of the – I’m seeing more and more of it coming through. Do you find that as well, that there’s, you’re getting that turn inward, almost, or backward? In a good way?
BS
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I think that people are just wanting to reclaim and re situate themselves within a human experience. We can’t think about white supremacy culture without talking about capitalism, and how it pushes people to behave like machines. And we’re not machines. We’re really complex when we feel things and we cycle through so many different things, beginning of life to end of life. And I think the return of practices, like you just mentioned, are a direct example of that. Yeah, it’s important.
KE
And also, I think that we’re looking at, there’s an expense to dying, and cost of living going up, so does the cost of dying. And often we aren’t told what our options are. And there are less expensive options for people than what we’ve come to believe or said was necessary within funeral homes and elaborate caskets and that sort of thing. And that’s great if that’s what people want, but there are other options that you’re maybe not always made aware of as you talk about capitalism. That’s certainly a big factor.
BS
Oftentimes, the least expensive option is the more personable option, the more hands on, the more decision-making power you have. And you don’t have to necessarily spend more money in order to have all of those things. And so, I’m growing in figuring out how to communicate those options to my audience with Unearthing Tradition. And I think it’s so important because knowing your options, and how to access them is what empowers your decision making throughout your lifecycle.
KE
And I think hand-in-hand with that comes communication and the value of language and how we have to have specific language that allows us to make those decisions. Do you notice that in your practice, that language is something that you have to really work with?
BS
Yes, and I think it’s because language, not even only in verbal communication, but in written communication, in nonverbal communication, how information is presented really can call in folks, or it can make folks decide for themselves before ever interacting with it, that that’s not for me. And so, in how I present Unearthing Tradition, I’ve spent so much time, probably too much time, just wanting to be intentional in how I’m talking about the things that I’m doing with unearthing tradition and wanting to make sure that my community is unapologetically reflected in the language that I’m using to do so.
KE
Now, on Unearthing Tradition, let’s talk about how people can find you.
BS
I am on Instagram at Unearthing Tradition. There is really the best place to start to get connected with me and the work that I’m doing. I have a website Unearthing Tradition.com. You can find all the things that I’m working on, whether it’s events, workshops, one-to-one or group-based services through those channels.
KE
Is there anything that you want people to know about you and what you do? Or is that just all on the website?
BS
I love questions like this. Just because it gives me an opportunity to reflect and leave something. I think something that I want folks to know about me in the work that I do, is just running it back to what we were talking about at the beginning of our conversation, in that for me, Unearthing Tradition has been a personal calling, but also an invitation for other folks to come along on this journey as well, of really asking the questions that we need to understand who we are and how we can create more space for living in this time by uncovering the steps of our ancestors and how they’ve gotten us to this point. And so, for me, it’s a journey. It’s a process. It’s completely unapologetic. It has elements of grace, of rest, of play, of joy, of deep grief. And we’re able to cycle through all of those things, both individually and together in community. And that’s what it’s all about for me.
KE
It’s a beautiful mission statement. Just in listening to those words, I get comfort from that. And I’m sure that that’s what your clients, as well, will experience, and it’s well overdue, for sure. As we know, any kindness, I think, that we have in this world and any comfort is a blessing. So, I think it’s really great, the stuff that you’re doing, and I’m really happy that you were able to take some time to chat with us today.
BS
Thank you so much. Any opportunity to exhale in a world that oftentimes makes us hold our breath is something that is well worth the effort, the time the energy for me.
KE
Thank you, Brianna, so much. It’s been a pleasure.
BS
Thank you.
This conversation is brought to you by the When You Die Project. From existential afterlife questions to palliative care and the nuts and bolts of green burial, if it has to do with death and dying, we’re talking about it.
